South fork 2020
One of our favorite places to go on vacation is South Fork, Colorado. These are some pictures and a video of our trip during the summer of 2020.
Five Years
September 25, 2014.
Five years ago today.
Writing that down makes me realize how quickly time passes. In fact, it’s probably been five years since I’ve really written a post. Time passes with no regard to how you use it. Time doesn’t notice if you said “I love you” today and it doesn’t care if you were angry when you walked out the door. They say time heals, and I suppose that’s true depending on the wound. Some wounds turn into scars. Some of those scars fade and you move on, and some last forever. Five years ago I was given a scar that hasn’t faded and won’t go away. While not a physical wound it is a wound that hurts more than anything I’ve ever experienced.
Then:
I had just started a new job and was in my morning status meeting when I got a call from the OB nurse. I was told that I needed to get to the office right away and I knew it was time. You see, we were scheduled for a C-Section in one week but my wife is diabetic and my other two boys were early so I was ready. As I got to my desk to pack my bag and head out I got another call. This time it was my wife, Ronna. With tears in her eyes and a broken heart she told me we had lost the baby. I don’t think I understood but I hung up the phone and ran to the Jeep. I yelled and cursed and pounded the steering wheel all the way to the doctor’s office where I found my wife sitting in the doctor’s chair crying. At 38 weeks she had gone in for her last checkup and sonogram. This was considered a high risk pregnancy so they keep a close watch on things as we near the due date. Today was just like the visit the week before but the sonogram tech, who was our tech for all three babies, couldn’t find the heartbeat and it was determined that Hudson was gone. From there we had to have a C-section, choose a casket and lower our baby into the ground. The weeks that followed would be a blur filled with anger, sadness, and the most real tears I’ve ever cried. Since that day I’ve battled a range of emotions from apathy to borderline depression.
Now:
Today Hudson would have been five years old. Even today, five years later, I cried thinking about that. I ponder about where he would fit in this crazy family dynamic. If you know me today, you’ve heard me refer to my boys as feral. They are. They’re just a spoken word away from that kid in Mad Max with the boomerang and I love them for that. I assume Hudson would have, through osmosis and observation, absorbed that energy and charisma too. Somedays it bums me out but I have to also appreciate that I have two happy, healthy, crazy nerds that need my attention too. So I give them that attention. Maybe too much. I have what I call “Nemo Syndrome”. In the movie “Finding Nemo”, Nemo’s dad experienced great loss and refused to expose Nemo to risk and sometimes I feel that way. I watch them closely and do my best to keep them safe. I’m sure someday they’ll demand space, but for now I’m in the mix like Betty Crocker. I hope when they’re almost 40 they’ll still want to hang out with me and we’ll still laugh about fart jokes.
Takeaway:
If you’ve read this far thanks, but also jeez - get off the computer. I know it’s been said before, but take the time before it’s gone. Remember, time doesn’t care how you’ve been spending it. That little red notification bubble on all your apps has us trained to respond and it is never-ending so de-prioritize it. Put your phone down, close the laptop and go hold hands with your little one. Or your husband or wife. Tell them you enjoy their company and ask them about their dreams. Sawyer wants to be a rockstar and Tucker wants to ride dirt bikes. I dream about building a cabin in the mountains and having my grandkids come visit me. Sometimes those dreams include my chubby little Hudson and I’m learning to deal with that.
The Bucket List - Part One
Disclaimer: I think I’ve written this post three times now and deleted it twice.
July 13th I celebrated my 39th trip around the sun on this little blue planet. It got me thinking about this bucket list I refer to on occasion. For reference, I have a half sleeve tattoo of Easter Island on my right arm and people often ask me what it is and why I have it. My short answer is that Easter Island is on my bucket list of places to go, which is true but I don’t actually have a bucket list written down anywhere. Until now. This is definitely not a closed or final list so consider this a first draft. If I had written this ten years ago (before marriage and kids) it probably would have been a very different list. So here it is, in no particular order.
Drive the Fairlane again
In high school I got a 1968 Ford Fairlane and drove it for a few years. Once I moved to Dallas for college, it became pretty clear that it wasn’t a good car for commuting so I ended up trading with my dad for something a little more modern. After joining the Marines in ’02 I put it in storage and there it sat for almost ten years. Long story short, it’s in my garage now and my goal is to get it running again soon.Visit Zion National Park and hike the canyons.
I’ve been eye-balling this place for some time and decided it needed to make the list.Go on an Elk archery hunt
I’m learning archery marksmanship and I plan to hunt Whitetail in the fall, but it would be so epic to go to Colorado and hike to some ridge in the mountains and harvest an Elk to put in the freezer.Canoe or Kayak a major river Maybe the Colorado or the Rio Grande?
Overland Trip in the Jeep
There’s a guide called New Mexico Backroads that does a trip through the Gila Mountains via forest service roads. The trip looks challenging but it also looks like a lot of fun. The second option could be one of the Jeep Jamboree trips. I’m not sure my Jeep is ready for either of these but I’m getting close.Learn to Snowboard
I've been once and I just did snow pushups for 3 days.Go to Havasupai Falls
See the following bands before they’re gone…
Pearl Jam, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Willie NelsonKayak the Devil’s River in south Texas
So I came across this video on Youtube recently about a fly fishing guide in South Texas. I had no idea this river existed until I saw the video but it looks like an amazing place. Based on what I’ve read about it, a trip down this river would require some serious planning. It’s incredibly remote and most of it runs through private property so you can’t just get in and out as you please. There are a few entry and exit points and pickup requires some coordination.Hike in Big Bend
Own land in Colorado (South Fork, Creede, etc.)
We’ve been on summer vacation in South Fork for several years now and it’s probably one of my favorite places to be. It’s a pretty small town with not much more than a grocery store and a few shops but it’s everything I enjoy about living. The mountains, the river, the wildlife, a complete lack of traffic - everything about it.Go to Easter Island
Hike the Appalachian Trail
I doubt I would have the time to hike the entire trail but I would like to spend five days or so in the Virginias and Maryland area and see how far I could get.
Florida 2019
I’m not usually a beach person. I prefer the mountains and the cold air. That being said, we had a great vacation in Santa Rosa Beach, Florida this year. We made a sand dinosaur and gave boogie boarding our best.
Kiamichi Trip
In February we took our first trip of the year to our place in Oklahoma, Camp Bravo. The boys made a fort, we made camp coffee, shot guns and had a good weekend.
Thanksgiving 2018
Thanksgiving is probably one of my favorite holidays. It’s centered around family and eating and usually involves a lot of naps. My mom grew up in Colorado Springs, and my Grandma and Aunt Jenny still live there so we went up for a visit. The week prior, they had gotten a ton of snow but most of it was gone in the city we made our way up to a state park in Divide so the boys could see snow. We exercised all of our hiking muscles and the boys got to spend some quality time with the great-grandma. I miss it already.
South Fork 2018
We took our summer vacation to Colorado this past July and had a blast as usual. These pictures are all from our favorite place near South Fork called Upper Beaver Creek Campground. I did my best to shoot and edit some video of our time there and you can see that here as well.
